well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
