hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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