It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My day in three words: secret purse cake
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
