it wasn't lemon gatorade
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
