I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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