Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why are your pants in the freezer?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
