Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
