drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i will never coherently bang her
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
