nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
