hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
