It's like God shit irony all over that family
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
