capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
