I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she smelled like a LAN party
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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