I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
