I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
