He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
