You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
