And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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