you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
