i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
