We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
