If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
