I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
