we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he just fucked me for my cheese..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
