my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
