yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
