Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
