3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
