My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
