that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
