Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
