some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
