Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
