tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
