Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
