so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i used baking grease as lip gloss
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
