singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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