it wasn't lemon gatorade
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so let's talk penis.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
