If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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