She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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