His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
