i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Randomize
