shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
