Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
