Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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