i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The adults are the big ones right?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
