home. puking in laundry basket.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
