i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
