Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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