Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
